It used to drive me crazy when people would say "you have to love yourself before you can love someone else" Easy to say, but how do you go about loving yourself? Talk in the mirror? Treat yourself well? Eat Well? Treating others as you would be treated? Or is it something deeper?
Loving yourself is really about a connection to God/Universe/Higher Self (or however you like to refer to a higher power that is within you.) Once you find a way to connect with the perfect love that is within you, the reflection you find in the world is the love that you have within. Getting to that love means understanding that everything you think of that is "out there" in the world is really your own reflection of how you feel about yourself.
Special Relationships are often the best indicator of letting you know how close you are to the peacefulness around connecting with that love. Special relationships, according to The Course in Miracles can be defined as anyone close to you; your spouse, family members or even close friends (or even enemies) They are really your best teachers for discovering the areas needing to be healed to get to the "heart" of any blocks to self love, and the peaceful state that comes with that connection. When you are angry or irritated, rather than hang around in the anger, or going into protection to keep the argument going, take a moment to really think of it as a great reminder; a reminder that you have come out of your loving space and there is learning to be done.
"You are never angry for the reasons you think and it never has to do with anyone else's actions". Another way of stating that is your natural state is one of peace and love. When you are irritated, it means that you have entered an unnatural state that is being triggered by another person. We have been trained to fight back instead of going inward to see what the anger is really about. I assure you, it is never about the other person. It is an internal aching that is trying to get out through the "help" of another, and rather than see the other as the enemy, understand that you have created them perfectly to help with an issue within you. It doesn't mean you stay to hear unloving words, but it does mean that there is a freedom from fighting back, knowing that if you feel irritation, it is a learning opportunity. It also doesn't mean you have to teach them anything. Everyone has access to the loving space within them, and has access to teachers both seen and unseen if truly wanted.
Often we are unclear about messages when upset or angry. Sometimes another viewpoint is helpful to get to the forgiveness lesson at the heart of every seeming issue. Whether it is a forgiveness opportunity for yourself or you are a part of a lesson for another. As you develop a deeper connection with Spirit, it becomes easier to navigate through the world, as you start to see it through a more forgiving and loving perception. Less and less about the outside world affects inner peace.
Lora Nedkov, MBA, RHN is an Intuitive Spiritual Counsellor and A Course in Miracles Student/Teacher. To book a session please call 905.632.8600 or visit www.loranedkov.com