Overcoming People Pleasing

People pleasing often serves as a defence mechanism that keeps you from truly knowing who you are. It’s like wearing a mask crafted by the ego, which has built an entire world around a false self-concept. This self-concept replaces your authentic self, turning into an obsession or even an addiction—a way to defend against the uncomfortable truths of existence.

At its core, this behaviour stems from a deep-seated desire for validation, reinforcing your identity as merely a body in this world. Whether it’s with co-workers, parents, bosses, friends, or even pets, everything perceived becomes part of this constructed self-concept. Each act of people pleasing is essentially a denial of the truth; it’s as if we’re saying God cannot enter our lives because we’re too busy trying to fit into someone else’s expectations.

So how do we begin to untangle ourselves from this web of people pleasing? The first step is to follow your innate knowing and ask yourself why you feel compelled to do something for others. Are you seeking recognition? Are you looking for acceptance? By peeling back these layers and confronting these questions honestly, you can start reclaiming your true self and aligning with the divine rather than being trapped in the mind's illusions created by ego.

Once you have identified the underlying motivations driving your people-pleasing behaviour, the next step involves setting clear communication with yourself on what feels good. Start small by saying "no" to requests that do not resonate with your values or desires. This practice can be uncomfortable at first, but it is essential in fostering respect for both yourself and others. Additionally, cultivate self-compassion during this journey. Acknowledge that breaking free from ingrained habits takes time and patience. Instead of criticizing yourself for past behaviours, embrace each step forward as progress toward a more authentic existence. Consider journaling your thoughts or discussing them with a trusted friend or therapist who can offer guidance and support.

Lastly, immerse yourself in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment independent of others' expectations. Whether it’s pursuing a hobby, engaging in mindfulness practices like meditation, or simply spending time in nature—these experiences will help reinforce your identity outside the context of pleasing others. By consistently practicing these strategies, you'll find greater clarity about who you are while developing healthier relationships based on mutual respect rather than obligation.Remember: your mind's natural state was lovingly created by God—embracing that truth can help you with the goal of overcoming people pleasing.