Embracing Your Curves: A Lesson in Self-Acceptance

I was trying on a dress recently and noticed a little extra around my hips. My first thought was that I wished it weren't there. It's such an automatic reaction, isn't it? We look in the mirror, notice something we don't like, and immediately decide it needs fixing.

But then I thought, why? I like the dress, so why should a little extra around my hips be a reason not to wear it? I decided to keep the dress and embrace the curves.

It might seem like a small thing, but it got me thinking about how often we approach life this way. We find something about ourselves that doesn't fit our idea of how we should look, behave or feel, and we make it a problem. We do it with our bodies, our personalities, our relationships and even our spiritual progress.

The Habit of Finding Something Wrong

We all have an image of how we think we should be. Perhaps we believe we should be more patient, less sensitive, more confident or further along in our spiritual journey. When we don't match that image, we judge ourselves for falling short.

A Course in Miracles invites us to question this habit of judgment. The ego is invested in the identity we have constructed, and it continually finds ways to improve, defend and measure that identity. Even spiritual growth can become another project in which we try to turn ourselves into someone more acceptable.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with making changes. We can develop healthier habits, learn to respond differently or choose clothes that make us feel comfortable. The question is whether we are making a practical choice or trying to fix ourselves because we believe something about us is unacceptable.

I could have decided not to buy the dress because I didn't like how my hips looked. Instead, I chose to keep it. I didn't need to change my body to enjoy wearing something I liked.

What if we brought that same attitude to other parts of ourselves?

Accepting What We Would Like to Change

Perhaps you know you can be impatient, or you still get defensive when someone disagrees with you. Maybe you struggle with insecurity even though you've been studying the Course for years. You might find yourself thinking, I should be beyond this by now.

But does criticizing yourself make you more patient? Does judging your insecurity help you see it differently? Or does it simply add another layer of guilt to an experience that was already uncomfortable? The Course isn't asking us to ignore our behaviour or abandon responsibility. It invites us to look at ourselves without the condemnation that makes every perceived flaw a statement about our worth. We can recognize what we want to change without deciding that we are somehow less acceptable in the meantime.

In Workbook Lesson 110, A Course in Miracles reminds us, “I am as God created me.” This points us beyond the self-image we have constructed and the characteristics we use to define it. Our bodies change, our personalities have their habits, and we continue to learn. None of these things determines our true Identity.

What If We Stopped Trying to Fix Everything?

I think there is something freeing about the idea of embracing our curves. We don't have to pretend we love every feature of our bodies, just as we don't have to pretend we never behave in ways we regret. We can acknowledge what is there without making it a reason to reject ourselves.

The next time you notice something you wish were different, ask yourself: Can I accept this without making it a problem with who I am? You may still decide to make a change, but you don't have to make your peace dependent on it.

I'm keeping the dress. I can still have preferences about how I look, but I don't need to turn those preferences into rules about how my body should be. And perhaps that is a useful reminder for the rest of life, too. I can work on my impatience without deciding I'm a failure, or recognize an old fear without believing I should have outgrown it by now.

We can change what is helpful to change without believing that we must be fixed to be acceptable. Maybe embracing our curves is simply a reminder that we don't have to wait until everything about us meets our expectations before we allow ourselves to enjoy the life we're living.