Letting Go of Expectations: A Spiritual Practice in Healing and Trust

We often enter relationships—romantic, familial, professional—with a quiet script already written. We carry expectations of how others should behave, how life should unfold, and how we believe love should look. But A Course in Miracles reminds us that healing begins not with control, but with surrender.

"Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety." — ACIM, T-4.VI.6

This line invites us into a gentler way of being. Certainty, in the Course’s framework, doesn’t come from knowing how life will go. It comes from trusting that love is behind everything, even when form appears chaotic. That trust softens the grip of expectation and allows space for true connection.

The Subtle Prison of Expectations

Expectations are tricky. They often seem harmless—just hopes, preferences, standards. But spiritually, they’re more like veils that block us from seeing clearly. When we expect a partner to act a certain way, or for healing to follow a specific timeline, we’ve already placed conditions on our peace.

What if peace isn’t conditional? What if healing doesn’t depend on others changing, but on our willingness to see differently?

This is where A Course in Miracles becomes radical. It teaches that what disturbs us is not what happens “out there,” but the meaning we’ve given it. In relationships especially, this invites a powerful shift: from seeking to be understood, to seeking to understand the blocks to love within ourselves.

"I am never upset for the reason I think." — ACIM, W-5

It’s not that someone failed us—it’s that we’re clinging to a version of reality that no longer serves. When we let go of expectations, we aren’t giving up on love—we’re making room for real love to show up.

Healing Through Surrender

There is profound healing in releasing the need to control how others respond to us. This doesn’t mean becoming passive or disconnected. It means anchoring into something deeper: the awareness that we are already whole, already loved, already safe.

"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it." — ACIM, T-16.IV.6

Every time we let go of an expectation—whether in a moment of tension, disappointment, or waiting—we're removing a barrier. We're inviting Spirit in.

And while this surrender may feel like loss at first, it’s actually the beginning of freedom.

A New Way to See

Letting go of expectations doesn’t mean giving up on desires or boundaries. It means loosening our grip. It means choosing to trust that, beneath appearances, all things are working together for good—even when we can’t see how.

It means meeting life as it is, not as we wish it to be—and discovering that peace lives there.

Where in your life are you holding expectations that might be blocking love? What would it feel like to surrender them—even a little?

Closing Meditation: A Moment of Surrender

Take a moment to sit quietly.Let your eyes soften, your shoulders drop.Take a slow, deep breath in...And gently exhale.

Bring to mind one expectation you’ve been carrying—maybe in a relationship, in your healing journey, or in how you think life should unfold.

Don’t judge it. Just notice it.Feel where it lives in your body.Inhale into that space.And as you exhale, imagine loosening your grip—just a little.

Silently repeat:

“I do not know what anything, including this, means. And so I do not know how to respond to it. And I will not use my own past learning as the light to guide me now.”— ACIM, T-14.XI.6

Let these words create space within you.You don’t have to fix or force.You don’t have to know what comes next.You are held. You are guided. You are loved.

Take one more deep breath.Release the breath—and the expectation—with gratitude

Return to the day, a little lighter, a little freer.

A tranquil landscape representing inner peace and acceptance